2021 was a difficult year. I didn't think it could be harder than 2020 but I sure was wrong. When a year begins you set goals, make resolutions, have dreams to accomplish. Theres always a glimmer of newness to the beginning of a year. 365 new chances to do something.
As 2021 has ended, I find myself reflecting back on the year and all the happy memories, goals I wanted to meet. First I decided I was going to post a quote everyday of the year. I may have missed a day here or there but I posted and caught up each time. Each quote was chosen by me and how I felt that day. Some are not as bright and shiny as others, thats because I was choosing them for myself not for anyone else. I think I will continue to post quotes frequently because I had so many people comment they liked them. Honestly, I think we all need that kind of positivity in our lives.
I finished my second year of teaching once again changing my role within the school building. I am now the Behavior Academic Support Room Teacher. My kids are some of the most challenging in the building. I wouldn't trade them for anything, they keep me on my toes. That being said I Graduated from Fort Hays State University in December with my Masters in Science, High Incidence Special Education. This has been a rough road but I did it, and I finished during a time I really wanted to give up. I did it. I needed to see myself finish at the same time it was the hardest semester.
We often fight battles that no one is aware of and this year was full of those. Some of you may know I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). This is something I will always have but is manageable. PCOS affects literally everything. I've known I've had PCOS for almost 10 years. Taking care of me, is being put at the top of my list for this year. You can't pour from an empty cup. I can't ignore what I need to take care of the way I have in the past. In 2021 I started doing LeVel also known as Thrive. It was hard. I didn't always follow it the way I was supposed to. I saw others results and wanted them. The reality is, none of these diets are great for someone with PCOS. This year, I will find what works. I have to. Theres nobody else that can do it for me.
To say 2021 was a trying year truly is an understatement. It started out well, as well as it could. However, ended like a tidal wave has hit me and drug me out to sea. I've sat at the computer many times trying to to think of how to put to words what the last four months of 2021 has been like, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I've never pretended to be perfect and I wont start now. I struggle, I do the wrong things, I get taken advantage of because I see the better in someone, I always want to show theres hope. My hope was drug through the mud. The past four months have been dark. Darker than I care to admit. Still daily I got up and put a smile on my face while fighting battles very few knew about. September was the official end to my marriage of almost 12 years. Then Jazz, my 13 year old dog died, then Molly, my 11 year old dog died, then my cars transmission went out and then my Dad got sick and has been on hospice since the week before Thanksgiving. Its a lot to pack into four months. Im working on being a better version of myself. Im working on being a better mom, a better daughter, better friend, better teacher. Nobody can do this for me but me. Many days I struggle to get everything done. I dont know how anyone can do life without a support system. I'm thankful for mine.
Many days I don't know which way is up and how I'm going to get there. Some days by the end of the day I dont even know what I did all day. But what I do know is that 2022 is going to be life changing. Im going to set some big goals for myself and do it for me.
